Drinking Before Noon

I hate email forwards!

2008-01-11T16:16:00.000-08:00

I got the "Who is Barak Hussein Obama" forward again today. I think I let whoever sent me this the first time around slide, but this one annoyed me more since it included an extra paragraph stating you can go to snopes.com to verify the email is true. However, go to snopes and find out for yourself that the email is indeed false. This prompted the following email from me to the unlucky person who happened to keep me on his forwards email list and everyone on that list:

I normally would not respond to one of these annoying forwards, much less hit reply all to spam the email boxes of people that I don't know, but before you send this email to someone else take the time to actually go to snopes.com so you can read for yourself that this email is false (unlike the email below that claims it is factual).

Seriously, take the time to educate yourself about candidates and the issues rather than buy into the mindless forwards sent around.

Unlike the people who send the annoying forwards I signed my name to the email. I sent it about an hour ago and already have my first response of "Get a Life!!!"

I've made my point and have decided that I won't be responding to that email or any other thoughtless emails, even if my first thought is "get a brain, make informed decisions." The funny part is I didn't even say vote for Obama or anyone else for that matter. Ignorant people take themselves way too seriously.

Seriously?

2007-09-30T10:42:00.000-07:00

This is completely unrelated to law or work or any of that. But here is a newsflash for every guy on the planet: If you are sitting on the back of your car in a Walmart parking lot, hollering "hey beautiful" to a woman while she is putting groceries in the back of her car, and she does not respond, don't be surprised. Her lack of answer does not make her a bitch. It just makes you a loser.

Sweater Sets and Fauxhawks

2007-08-31T18:15:00.000-07:00

Does every profession have those people that others in the profession look down on?

I bring this up because I look down on the child support attorneys. I recognize that they fill a much needed service in providing mothers and children with access to the legal system to collect the support that they need and deserve, here's the BUT...

Do they have to dress so unprofessionally? Striped sweater sets with matching pink slacks do not scream respect me. Believe me, I get the fact that suits get old and I sport flip-flops with my suit when I am in my office. However when I am in court, I am in the suit and my big girl shoes.

The worst part is that it is the female attorneys that do this. Women are still at a disadvantage in this profession, especially in smaller counties with an all male bench, do these attorneys really need to make it harder on the rest of us?

As Barney says, "Suit Up!"

Life or Death

2007-08-30T19:43:00.000-07:00

In light of the crazy criminal practice I have somehow got myself into, I have been spending a lot of time pondering the death penalty. I see what you are thinking: very happy topic, Miss M. But really, I have been up to my ears in death penalty cases. Here is what I have concluded: the death penalty should be abolished. Why you ask? The silly reasons are as follows:

It creates more work for me.
It costs more for the court appointed attorneys to represent them.
It kills trees. Lots of them. (And what did the trees do to deserve that?)

As for the more serious reasons, there are a few of those too. Here they go:

No person should decide to take another's life (I know if you are already found guilty of murder this is slightly compromised but signing a death verdict is not much better.)
Finding a way to constitutionally kill people is a problem.
Most civilized societies recognize that capital punishment is no longer acceptable.
The legislature has no right to put its citizens in a position where they are forced to decide if someone will live or die.

The last reason sticks with me. In the past 2 weeks we have been selecting a jury and this seems to be something that keeps coming up. Anyway, these are just my musings on the subject.

Random only somewhat law related post

2007-01-30T18:33:00.000-08:00

The other day I had to go pick up a file for my boss. Not the most thrilling task but it was friday afternoon so I opted for anything that got me out from behind my desk. As I was driving, I was listening to the radio. Which in and of itself is pretty impressive since it seems like people rarely do that now with satellite and ipod transmitters (which I am totally addicted to). So here is what I concluded from my little journey: I really really fucking hate when they play songs in the middle of the day that have to be extremely edited to be appropriate for radio. For example: Puddle of Mudd, She fucking hates me. Ok it is in the song title. The gratuitous cussing in that song is what makes it great. Next: Buck Cherry Crazy Bitch. THe title should give you a hint there as to the content of the song. One more Nelly Must be the money. Seriously? You have to edit out all the lines about drugs? I understand the concern that children will here this stuff but really kids should be in school at this time so my radio should be uncensored. And they wonder why adults don't listen to the radio anymore. So much for the first amendment (there that was the law related part of the post).

Happy New Year....Late I know

2007-01-10T19:21:00.000-08:00

So we have been bad about posting on here. Likely because we work at crazy firms and it just takes too much effort at the end of the day to get back on the computer and type something up.

Such would be the case today except since I am up and bored and TV is sucky, I thought I would post something. There were two things that promptly came to my mind:

My big law firm friend who works in the litigation group bitches because all of a sudden she has 100 things to do. My small firm friend says the same. My very small firm life is the same way. Moral of the story: If you work in litigation, some days you have little some minutes you have tons. If you are getting 6 figures to deal with the 100 things on your desk, don't bitch to me.
Clients call to check on their cases or to hire us. I get this. But sometimes I really don't have any new info. It is not my fault it is taking the court over a year to rule on your peitition. I swear, me calling them is not really going to help. Also, calling me at 530 and going on a tirade about whatever is not a good idea. Cut to the chase or stop talking. And by stop talking I do not mean hang up on me because nothing in the world pisses me off more. Oh and asking if I am the secretary immediately puts you on my annoying list.

That is all for now. I am off to have some wine and go to bed. Tomorrow's challenge: Calendar call. Stay tuned...

Reflections on a certain law school prof

2006-11-29T17:13:00.000-08:00

During law school, I absolutely loathed my evidence prof. Why? Easy. He sucked. His favorite answer was "you will understand after you are in practice and are dealing with it." Thanks jackass. So helpful.

Now I am out in the real world and today was confronted with an issue over admissibility of character evidence in a criminal case. Guess what? It still made no sense. Apparently, after studying evidence in law school and for the bar exam and having practiced for a big bad 3 months or so, I still haven't been in practice long enough to get it. And, this was on appeal, the trial lawyer already made all the objections. So clearly there was something fishy about what they were doing. But trying to make a comprehensible argument as to why the Rules of Evidence were violated was a bit beyond me. I wonder how much time out in the real world it will take for my prof's answer to make sense...something tells me it might just be forever.

What's up with couples who have blog conversations?

2006-11-11T14:53:00.000-08:00

It's so annoying/weird to read someone's blog, livejournal, myspace, etc. in which a couple carries on a conversation within the comments of the entry. Especially when they live together. You see each other every day! Have normal conversations, you know, face-to-face.

It's even more annoying when the comments consist of "No, I love you, more." or "You're the best husband/wife." Ugh, when I read that particular exchange, I think I threw up in my mouth.

Some things are just more exciting in the movies

2006-10-28T21:32:00.000-07:00

I just finished watching Annapolis (better good, hot guys, no shirts, no complaints). Half the movie the guys are boxing, which just looks like it would be so much fun to see in person. However, having attended my first ever boxing match last night, I concluded that it is just better in the movies. There were no dramatic knockouts, no blood flying anywhere, no nothing. Even the 5 drinks I had prior to the matches didn't help the entertainment value. Atleast they were selling beer at the venue or the whole adventure might have been a waste of a Friday night.

*I am willing to say that some matches might be worth seeing live. Like if it was some big name, top ranking guys. Obviously, since I do not live in Vegas or some other big city that draws sporting events like that, this was likely not a high quality boxing situation.

Let me tell you about my neighbor

2006-10-27T16:26:00.000-07:00

My neighbor, luckily does not live on my street, but does live on one of the main streets into our neighborhood. I have to drive past his house to get to mine. Let's call him Bubba (for reasons that will become clear).

On Wednesday of this week, Bubba put up two homemade signs in his yard. These signs say 'If you called Animal Control Stop By".

You see Bubba has a mean dog. I have encoutered said dog while walking my dogs in the neighborhood. During these encounters, Bubba has to put his beer down* to control this mean dog. Apparently someone in the neighborhood had enough of Bubba's mean dog and called Animal Control. Of course, rather than recognizing the problem as his barely controlled dog, Bubba has taken issue with someone being afraid of his dog and contacting the authorities.

The signs are still up, but are being destroyed by the constant rain we've had today. I hope tomorrow they will be gone and not replaced with new ones.

*I have rarely seen Bubba without a beer in his hand: Bubba walks to his mailbox, he's got a beer in his hand. Bubba cuts down our bank to go fishin', he's got a beer in his hand. Bubba walks his dog, he got a beer in his hand. Bubba sits in a bag chair in his front yard with his mean dog waiting for the person who called Animal Control to "stop by" with a beer in his hand. I think I could start my own law firm with the money he spends on beer in a month.*

Clients...blah

2006-10-22T13:59:00.000-07:00

So I really really am not so good at working friday afternoons. I just lose motivation which is why I never scheduled Friday afternoon classes in law school. But since I no longer control all my scheduling, I got stuck with a client meeting at 5:15 on Friday. Grr. So no big deal, I got some mindless stuff done then realized it was 20 after. No client. 5:30. Still no client. Now I am annoyed. I mean really if you are going to request a late appointment atleast show up. No such luck in my world. Maybe that is just karma coming to bite me for all the Fridays that I walk out of the office at 5 sharp.

Anyone know where I can buy some patience?

2006-10-14T20:17:00.000-07:00

Here is what I have decided about why people get frustrated with the legal system in our country. It takes too freaking long. I have been waiting on a ruling on a summary judgment motion since I started. Keep in mind that I do all criminal work so the only thing I have that is subject to civil rules of procedure is habeas corpus stuff. Since the guy is on death row, you would think they would get it in gear but no.

So basically, it drives me crazy how long everything takes. I am not a patient person to start with and this does not help. Of course, the first response to a motion to dismiss I did resulted in the appeal being denied a mere 24 hours later. Why is it that bad news is the only thing that comes quickly?

College Game Day...

2006-09-30T07:36:00.000-07:00

has become the official tour group of Ohio State Football? Seriously? I recognize that ESPN and ABC are trying to cross-promote each other, but this is stupid. Do I really want to see the Game Day guys at an Ohio State game every other weekend? Not particularly.

Before th ABC/ESPN/Disney take-over the world merger, Game Day went all over the place to wherever the biggest game was. Now, it's to wherever the ABC Primetime Game is. The real downside to this is that musty old fart in bad jackets, Brent Musburger, pops up on Gameday.

Hand-me-downs from the boss?!?

2006-09-29T16:30:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure what's more insulting about the hand-me-downs from my boss-the fact that I would look awful in everything she gave me or the fact that she thinks I'm actually big enough to be the sizes she gave me...

What's up with the tassel?

2006-09-29T16:28:00.000-07:00

I have a SOL (statute of limitation, for non-lawyer people) for tassels hanging on the rear view mirror. It is 3 months after you have graduated from HIGH SCHOOL. Not college, not graduate school, but high school. It looks ridiculous for a GROWN PERSON to drive around with this one. Especially, if said tassel has faded into different colors since you've had it hanging around that long.

Latest in a series of things from the Bar

2006-09-16T17:36:00.000-07:00

My license arrived in the mail!!! I can officially be sworn in now and then I can really really actually be a lawyer. And I checked out the website and I don't have to pay dues until next calendar year. And my boss said to just submit the bill and they would pay it all. Yay. And the license is kinda cool looking. Overall, I am very pleased. Now I just have to find the right outfit for my swearing in, because really, it is a great excuse to buy new clothes.

Best line of the day

2006-09-16T17:34:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I was reading a response to a motion filed in superior court. At one point in response to an argument the attorney actually wrote "This is poppycock." I mean, who says poppycock?!?!? It made my day really.

Blah

2006-09-05T16:56:00.000-07:00

ok the real world is overrated. I am thinking maybe a year of this shit then I am headed back to academia where I can sleep in the afternoons.

Sell Out Much??

2006-09-02T15:34:00.000-07:00

Football season is just around the corner and no one could be happier about this than me. And with it comes some really great commercials about football. Like the Corona one where the ref calls for an illegal block party. But anyway, stupid ones also come with it. And the great opportunity to see who has sold out this season. My award for this goes to Peyton Manning. Already. As if last year wasn't bad enough, this season he already has one for Direct TV Game day and I think sprint. And those ones with his whole family. And while I always will enjoy the ones where he is the cheer leader for all those random guys (like the accountant), give it a break for a while Patton. I mean, at this point, is there anything he won't do a commercial for? I am amazed he has time to play football at all.

Bar-Check!

2006-08-26T11:42:00.000-07:00

Since Ms. M is at Walmart as I type, I will post this for both of us: we passed the bar!!!!!!
All the blood, sweat, and tears paid off and we are now lawyers (or will be when we are sworn or get our licenses or something).
Woo-hoo!!!!

Myspace and Stupid People

2006-08-23T13:25:00.000-07:00

Generally, despite having both an undergrad and graduate degree I am not a degree snob and I don't think you have to have one to be interesting or worth my time. That being said, I had when stupid people message me over Myspace. The lastest was a short one liner from some guy 6 years my elder stating simply, "your a cutie." Grammer error all his. Ok. Seriously? So I take the compliment and look at his profile. No high school degree. Less than $30,000 a year. Works as a photo person. No skill involved. Seriously? What made you think I would write him back? I mean my profile clearly shows me as highly education and the guy can't even bother to write a sentence using proper grammer. I mean really? Thinking all this might make me a complete bitch/snob but really in this particular case I am willing to own that.

Really, if the guy had used proper grammer and said something mildly intriguing I would write him back. I am friendly like that. But we had nothing in common at all. So why waste my time or his?

How not to throw a rehearsal dinner...

2006-08-23T13:13:00.000-07:00

As was obvious from prior posts, I was in a wedding this past weekend. Due to more important things in my life I haven't had time to post (whine and bitch) about it. Shocking, I know, that something else could be more important. So here is the first of many to come on the comments about how not to do a wedding.

The rehearsal at the church went pretty smoothly. The priest rambled but having been going to that church for some time when I lived in town I was not surprised. So afterwards, we headed to the dinner. Very loose interpretation of the word dinner. I am not an overly classy girl but this was far less that I expected. Literally, all "dinner" consisted of was pulled pork, hamburger buns, that nasty vinegar slaw they serve with NC BBQ, chips and the best part--ice cold hush puppies. Ew. Drinks consisted of pops and bottled water. Serving dishes: to go type boxes, styrofoam. Plastic glasses.

Next Location: As a rule it is never a good idea to ask your guests to drive into the ghetto for dinner. Now exceptions can be made for really good hole in the wall places but this was no such thing. It was a rec center at a local middle school. Folding tables, no table clothes. And the best part: name tags for all. Yes this was a classy affair.

The real kicker tto the whole situation was that half of the bridesmaids don't eat pulled pork, a fact the bride was well aware of. As were the groom's parents in warning the vegetarian in the group that she "might was well stop and get something to eat because there would be nothing there for her" Yeah way to accomodate your guests. I understand money can be an issue but there were ways around that, that would not have had half the girls in the wedding toting in take out fast food to the rehearsal dinner. Tasteless.

I would love to blame the bride for this but really she looked annoyed and had not control over the food because it was left to her soon to be inlaws. Craziness. Definitely not what you want to do to your closest friends. And certainly not to ones that have driven some distance to be there for you. More to come on this weekend...

So, the wedding

2006-08-23T07:35:00.000-07:00

The wedding had a start time of 2pm (actual start time 2:10) and lasted until about 3:30, it was a Catholic wedding, so that was to be expected.
The reception however did not start until 6pm, nice lag time of 2.5 hours. Just glad I wasn't an out-of-town guest and could go home and grab something to eat. In retrospect, it was a good idea to go hang out in the a/c as the reception site could not be bothered to adjust the setting as to not make the place sweaty and hot for 100 or so guests, including men in suits. It's the middle of August in the South, how can you not have the air set at least 65 to accommodate loads of people in dress clothes?
Not a way I would chose to spend a Saturday, but the things you do for friends...
It was nice to see Ms. M this weekend and a few others, but I'm glad wedding season for us appears to be at an official end.

**There were other things besides the temp and time of the reception to bitch about, but I thought Ms. M might like to share her insider's view.

Stupid people annoy me

2006-08-15T11:23:00.000-07:00

Today I ran over to Subway to grab some food for lunch. I had this gift card for subway so it seemed like a logical choice. And it wouldn't take all that long since I was in a hurry to get back to lounging on my couch. So they make up my subs and ring everything up. Enter giftcard. Then they actually ask me if i want to use it to buy my sub. My sarcastic self really wanted to say "No, I just thought I would take it for a walk then pay with cash. Why the fuck do you think I handed it to you??" Well, clearly they are not the brightest crayons in the box so it takes 4 of them to figure out how to run the gift card. And then they look at me like i am stupid when it is short of the total even though clearly laying in front of them is the balance in c ash. So after about 5 minutes of them struggling with the thing they give me a free cookie. yay cookies. Still not pleased. So finally they decide just to ring it up as a cash sale and figure it out later. I mean if the company offers giftcards is it too much to except that they would actually know how to redeem them when someone wants to use them??

More Wedding Blahs

2006-08-14T17:01:00.000-07:00

Is it wrong to go the lovely couple's registries and be amused at all the zeros for gifts fulfilled? At least the $1,000 plus things have been removed.
Another friend was married a short bit ago and her registry was nearly complete when I got around to purchasing her gift. Quite a contrast between the two.

In other news: when the groom was asked about seating at the reception, he first told me there won't be a seating chart (no biggie there), but he then informed me that there will not be enough seats for everyone and that fits into his plan about people not all trying to sit at one time. This should be interesting...

Grrr

2006-08-14T09:22:00.000-07:00

So this coming weekend is the wedding from hell. Ok, so really it will be fine. But my annoyance right now is that I currently live 2 hours from where the wedding is being held. Not any great distance all things considered but it is Monday and I still have no info on the rehearsal dinner on Friday. Out of curtesy to the friend who so sweetly said I could stay with her since I no longer have an apartment in town, I would kind of like the details at this point so that I could let her know when I will be there. Besides that, there are people I would like to see in town while I am there. But I can't make any plans because the wedding dictates the rest of my weekend and I clearly don't have all the info. Blah. So inconsiderate! I mean I think a week's notice atleast would have been appropriate. But apparently I have too high of expectations of other people being considerate of their friends.

I am such a bad person!

2006-08-07T09:13:00.000-07:00

My husband is out running errands for me, among his list of things to do is "Pick out the crappiest thing on their registry" for the friends whose wedding was the beginning of this blog. We'll see what he comes back with, it should be interesting.
It presents quite a quandary for the lovely bride and groom. I mean they did register for whatever said item is, but they probably expected it teamed with something nice on their registry. I could have picked up some random piece of "art" from the hippie shops in Asheville, which could never be returned and politeness would dictate displaying if I made it to their house. I wasn't that mean.
The wedding itself is in a few weeks. Can't wait to see how that goes...

Myspace

2006-08-04T15:19:00.000-07:00

I get a kick out of looking up people from my graduating high school class on myspace. It beats the hell out of actually going to a class reunion. On the other hand, people at a class reunion can't give themselves bizarre names and change into a cartoon. Is it really so hard to put your name on the profile somewhere or an actual picture?
Now, granted, I probably still wouldn't know who some people were even with a full name and picture. And there are some people I know didn't graduate with me by just doing simple math. And there are those people who even with the goofy names and cartoon pic, I still have managed to figure out who they are based on the fact that they haven't changed one damn bit since high school.
I just have to say, seriously people???

To be continued...

2006-08-02T16:17:00.000-07:00

Eventually, I will have a full size post about everything that sucked about taking the bar. Let's just consider this a brief recap until the full size one goes live:

3 hours from required check-in until start of actual test
the lights went out
the bathrooms were like a mile away
the line to the pencil sharpener
the line outside in the rain (not that I had to stand it, but still)
the guy in charge who was a complete tool

This and more when I can manage to get up the energy to post all of it. Did I mention I started work on Monday?

BarBri Can Bite Me

2006-07-19T14:01:00.000-07:00

Ok, it is down to crunch time. By this time next week the bar exam will be over and done with. So I am furiously working to get all my cramming in. Today was wills and trusts morning. Abiding by logic, I read over the lecture notes then hit up the essays that BarBri provides for you to practice with. Here is the problem: the sample answers for the wills section are just wrong. I mean wrong. Some just failed to mentioned something I thought was important but one the answer made no sense at all. It talked about applying a lapse statute at the time of death of a life tenant and not at time of death of testator. I refused to believe this was right even when my fellow studiers insisted it was fine. So I looked it up in the NC outline. Nothing there to support their answer. I still think its wrong (what can i say, I am a Taurus after all). The next step being that I go talk to the prof I took for Dead People. I mean, there is some advantage to studying on your law school campus. As it turns out, I was right. I was not surprised by this. What I was surprised by was that the prof immediately knew what question I was talking about. Apparently, people had the same issue with it last year as I did this year. They received a corrected answer eventually. Well, the bar is next week assholes, think you could give us the right fucking answers??? I mean really, this review course costs enough that it should at least have correct model answers. Seriously, is that just too much to ask? Especially, when this is not the first time it has been a problem...

Study Music

2006-07-16T18:38:00.000-07:00

When I started studying for the bar, my study music pretty much consisted of everything on my play list. Then it got narrowed to rock, punk, and anything not poppy and happy. Now I am pretty much down to Rage Against the Machine, Seether, Metallica, and Godsmack. What do you think that says about how my attitude towards the bar exam has progressed?

Seriously, bar examiners????

2006-07-10T16:30:00.000-07:00

I'm doing practice questions in crim law/crim pro today and it's going decently. However, there are some nit-picky crazy questions (luckily these are on multipart questions, so not the whole thing)-like jury polling, did we even cover that? Like, at all???
Also, can now vouch for the barbri essay book since they have pulled actual state questions and just changed the names-you go, barbri, you go...

Get over yourself

2006-07-09T20:54:00.000-07:00

I went to this concert this weekend and after the band was done, and after shots were had at the bar across the street, my friend and I decided to go get some pics with the guys in the band. So the bassist was cool and we got a great silly pic with him. So we figure we should push our luck and ask the singer for a pic too. And his reaction "you can take it as long as you don't post it all over myspace." Ok. Dick. Because really, I want my picture with him all over my space because he is so hot. Not so much. I mean I actually wanted the pic because I had nothing for him to sign or to sign with and I thought his band sounded good. Definite potential and it would be fun to have a pic with them before they became too cool for their fans. Another reason this myspace thing annoyed me was they have a myspace page. It is a huge marketing tool--I wouldn't have known about the show without it. So why wouldn't you want the free publicity of your pic being posted on someone's page? I just thought it was a dickhead thing to say. And he was no fun like the bassist. So I boo the lead singer. But the rest of the band I will still like and for this reason I will refrain from saying who it was on here. However, if I had had access to a computer last night after all those drinks I can pretty much guarantee that would not have been the case.

File this under: "Could I make this shit up?"

2006-07-07T22:58:00.000-07:00

On a bookshelf in this chick's living room (meaning in plain view):
The Complete Kama Sutra
The Purpose Driven Life

Is it just me or do these two not go together? I was like, for real?

Things I don't understand #2

2006-07-05T20:18:00.000-07:00

I have been reviewing Constitutional law this week and while I generally find the subject to be interesting, there are somethings I just don't get. So I was reviewing the suspect classes and quasi suspect classes. And the whole concept seems like bullshit to me. Where in the constitution are these distinctions ever even slightly founded? They aren't. And gender and legitamacy are the only 2 suspect classes? Generally, I thought the whole legitamacy shit was over with. Laws are pretty equal on this. I guess they feel the same way about gender discrimination but I am just not buying it. Regardless, could someone please explain to me how 9 people have the authority to decide that different discrimination is entitled to different rules? I just don't get it. Really, I thought discrimination was wrong regardless but clearly, like with so many other things, I was mistaken/confused.

Math Problem

2006-07-04T09:41:00.000-07:00

Rednecks + Beer + fire crackers= me hating the 4th of July

Don't get me wrong, I love our country. I'm grateful to be a citizen with all the rights and privileges being an American gives me. Somehow, I don't think this is what the founders had in mind, when they decided that England sucked as a government over the new colonies.

We don't go anywhere on the 4th anymore because the constant sound of fireworks makes our dogs go crazy. This made worse by the fact that the necks in our neighborhood started celebrating last weekend. I'm torn between wanting them to get rid of all their drunken noisiness this evening and praying for a gully washing thunderstorm that makes such nonsense impossible this evening since I have a simulated MBE all day tomorrow.

Am I in the right place?

2006-06-30T05:50:00.000-07:00

Ok, so it's Friday and it's Commerical Paper, but where the hell is everyone this morning?
Should I have added that much needed rum to my smoothie to survive the morning? Good question. I'll let you know in about 3 hours.

It seems whatever these commerical papers are, they are rarely tested and if they are it's like a tiny little issue in a big essay.

Only 3 more barbri days left.
Too bad they're all 9-5, man, it's like having a job or something...

We have awesome nicknames for people!

2006-06-26T17:08:00.000-07:00

The Midget and The Cabbage Patch Kid (No, I love you more!)
Fat Chick and Nekkid Boy

We need to keep this up and we need a new name for the most annoying couple to be married.

We so missed out in not nominating her for Bridezilla. She would have been perfect:

The whole charity in exchange for favors: "we'll probably make the donation"
The date requirement: you can only bring someone she knows
The dress on-again-off-again, wait which dress is it, no, not that one, but that one
The crazy $$$ registries
Only having out of town showers and expecting people to do lots of traveling to them while studying for the bar

I mean, she still has over a month and a half to pull more stuff!!!

The Midget and The Cabbage Patch Kid

2006-06-26T17:02:00.000-07:00

I totally agree with Ms. M, couples shower with little advance notice is not a good thing, and you know how much I love a good thing. As a rule, couples showers are not a lot of fun. Most guys don't enjoy the whole shower thing. They don't like to open gifts in front of people and just aren't as good as us gals at faking things.

I can't wait to hear how our single guy friends invited to this thing do, if they show up at all. If I were a single man, there's no way in hell I would be caught there.

Luck being on my side, I have an great excuse for my absence-another wedding in which I am a bridesmaid. Good planning all around, I say!

Plus, who wants to hang around the sucky people throwing the shower-no one with any sense!!

Why Why Why??????

2006-06-26T15:58:00.000-07:00

Ok, in light of the fact that bar classes were ending in a few weeks I planned a little celebration with a friend from high school. You know to get away from it all, drink some beer, listen to some amusing bands. So what happens??? My friends' friends decide they should throw the friends a "couple wedding shower" that day. I love things like this just another thing to make me feel bad about not being part of a couple. But since I am missing the shower and Bacholette party due to a family gathering, I feel like I must attend or be kicked out of the wedding party. Wait. Maybe that wouldn't be so bad....So here are my thoughts on what to do:

Bring friend from high school as my date (female--oh, the resulting rumors that would fly)
Bail early to hit up the concert I want to see because well I did already have plans (shocking for me in and of itself)
Bring a date that neither the soon to be bride or groom like (he conveniently lives nearby though it would take some effort to convince him to show up)
Blow it off and say I have plans with a friend (they likely will not believe this because I don't make plans but this time I did...really)

Why why why did they plan this for that weekend? I mean clearly they have to know that it is the end of classes and they probably are thinking that they are helping us to celebrate. But really I don't want to be around other stressed out people who are feeling they might fail. I wanted to be away from that with people that have nothing to do with law. Fuck it. I am off to have some wine with my dinner.

Wait, there's more...

2006-06-25T16:51:00.000-07:00

Case name: Klump v. Duffus
The best part: Duffus was an attorney sued for malpractice
Oh, it gets better: a North Carolina attorney

Can any Duffus pass the bar? I hope so...

71 F.3d 1368

From my "lawyer jokes" calendar

2006-06-25T16:45:00.000-07:00

If only I can find a way to work this into a bar essay Q...

subpoena: (n.) from the root "sub" meaning below and the Latin "poena," meaning male organ or penis; therefore "below the penis" or "by the balls."

I'm thinking maybe a civ pro question, in which I may reply:
"Subpoena was properly served upon the defendant, meaning, Plaintiff's attorney had him by the balls."
That should get me a big ten out of ten points!

Thank God there was only one Saturday class and it is done!

2006-06-25T16:41:00.000-07:00

BarBri class: 8:30 am-3:30pm, Saturday
Lunch break: 40 minutes
Why? The prof wanted exactly 2 hours to get to an airport about 40 minutes away.
Subject Matter: Sales, Agency, and Partnership
Lesson Learned: the bar exam tests on

things that do not occur in the "real world"
things that only stupid people do

Seriously, without stupid people there would be no bar essay questions, which mostly involve people writing bad contracts and doing dumbass stuff, is this a tricky way to prepare us for dealing with bad clients?

Schedules

2006-06-23T19:49:00.000-07:00

As a rule, I am not really the schedule kinda girl. I am more of a fly by the seat of my pants, go where the wind blows me kinda girl. Even if that means I miss the first 2 pages of notes when I decide to arrive at the BarBri lecture (I mean, that is what friends are for right?). But when I rely on a schedule and show up for something it should damn well happen. I mean, really, what is the point of a schedule if you aren't going to follow it? I mean I showed up for a propertly lecture and I found out that no they would be showing the Chem-I am boring as brink-sky Con Law 1 lecture. So why does this annoy me? (1) I actually drove over there, (2) schedule, I don't follow them but I don't make them for other people to rely on when quitting drinking in time to sober up to drive over to campus for a lecture that wasn't even going to happen, and (3) most importantly, it seriously fucked up my plan to sleep in today until it was time for yoga. Stupid BarBri.

Some More Sports Talk

2006-06-23T19:42:00.000-07:00

As a rule, drinking at a sporting event is completely acceptable and, let's face it, pretty much expected. That means that regardless of what time the game comes on it is socially acceptable to drink at it. Further, this extends to any pre-game activities done in preparation for the game. Hence, Kegs and Eggs and other time honored traditions.

So even though the U.S. is a bit slow in realizing how great soccer is, it was perfectly acceptable to walk into a bar at 9:55 am to drink beer and watch the game. Of course, the loss was disappointing. But it was the perfect excuse to crack open a beer before the time that I would normally wake up when I don't have class.

Even we can't bitch about everything...

2006-06-23T15:06:00.000-07:00

After three whole days of property and expecting another one, we got professional responsibility today and for a bar class, it totally ruled!
How can a bar class rule, you ask...

It was done in two hours with a ten minute break!
The lecturer was funny!
He told us to put this outline away until the week before the exam.
The outline was ONLY 23 PAGES!!!

Yes, bar classes set the bar so low, it doesn't take much to make me happy.

Stinky Things

2006-06-21T21:09:00.000-07:00

There should be a general rule that while eating things in class is allowed eating stinky things should not be. And this especially applies when you start eating something stinky, people point it out, you close up the stinkiness, then later reopen it. Making the room stink even more. Ewwwww! Have some common curtesy people.

What's up with sucky sports fans?

2006-06-19T18:31:00.000-07:00

I am all about cheering for your team. Whoever it may be. But there are lines of decency that should not be crossed. There is always fans that just go to far. It happens in every sport--soccer, baseball, hockey, football, and on and on. In Argentina they killed a guy who scored an own goal in a soccer game. Now, in the big news of the NFL drama (besides all the little draft guys getting arrested) there is the Steeler's Big Ben motorcycle accident. Inconsiderate (asshole, opps did I actually write that?) fans are actually calling the poor 60 year old woman who hit it. It was an accident. They happen all the time, I seriously doubt she was gunning to run over the QB of the city's Superbowl winning football team. This is absurd. It is mean and, above all, it is unsportsmanlike. It is sad that it happened and I am sure this poor woman regrets ever getting in her car that day. But let's be realistic. Ben choose to ride the motorcycle without a helmet. He choose to take the chance of an accident. Hello? He would be alot less injured if he had a helmet on. While I do not advocate blaming the victim of accidents, when there is something the victim did that was within his control that would have decreased his likelihood of injury, then some of the blame should lay with him. I doubt Steelers fans are calling him and threatening him because he increased his injury by being negligent (some might say stupid) when it came to his own self-protection. Accidents happen there is no reason to inflict additional pain on an innocent woman. She might have caused the accident but that it was an accident. They happen. He will recover. He will play. They will win. Maybe even the Superbowl. Who knows? But adding bad press for the fans is just dumb. Sports are not worth adding agony to someone's life over.

By the way, I am a huge Steelers fan. I think what happened was sad. I think what the fans are doing to this poor woman is pathetic. And makes me want to drink to escape the fact that adults actually act this way.

Something I don't understand

2006-06-15T18:00:00.000-07:00

I have always loathed when profs stood up there and read to me. Reading to me insults my intelligence. Now, don't get me wrong, reading an important except or statutory language is fine. It tells me what I need to know. But 3.5 hours of reading me what is right in front of me is painful. PAINFUL. Thanks for wasting my time asshole, I could have read it myself in a hell of alot less time and got just as much out of it. Why am I paying tuition for you to be paid to read to me?? So for all you who are out there taking BarBri somewhere else...the con law guy is coming...and it is going to hurt.

BarBri is trying to kill me!

2006-06-15T12:55:00.000-07:00

Death by Boredom. I thought contracts was bad, but con law should be declared unconstitutional as cruel and unusual punishment. I had read on other blogs it was kind of bad, but I was unprepared for just how bad.

This was never one of my favorite subjects anyway, but the prof "teaching" just recited from the outline. There was debate as to whether he had the whole 49 pages memorized or was reading from cue cards. This was the most excitement of the day.

There were no blanks to fill in, no real motivation to pay attention other than the prospect of reading it yourself later. There were two upsides to viewing this on tape rather than live

We didn't have to do all 7 hours in one day like the poor live class did.
We could groan out loud at the really, really bad jokes this guy made (heavy on the puns, heavy on the pain)

The bad news: 3.5 more hours of this tomorrow. Or rather 3 hours for me. I am totally cutting out of the last 1/2 hour to go to yoga. At the rate he goes the most I'll miss is him reading the 3 last pages. Dry contracts lady, how I miss you...

I have returned

2006-06-14T11:50:00.000-07:00

So it has been about forever and a day since I have been on here. This is pretty easy to explain really. It started out simple enough. Run program to remove university network stuff from computer (the fact that I haven't actually been about to use the university network for about 2 yrs because of their jacked up wireless is completely besides the point). Program downloaded & ran. Password changed. I smile. Easy. Yay! HA. Suddenly, no shortcuts in my quick launch work. Then I type and nothing shows up. Then later all of it shows up. WTF? Take computer to computer people on campus. Guess what? Your hard drive is failing...oh there it goes. Dead. So new harddrive installed. Complete with, you guessed it, university network shit. Why Why Why?? I said if you put in a new harddrive just load windows. But do they listen? NO. Of course not. So what do I do? I decide formatting the computer and reinstalling windows sounds like fun. Because clearly, I am insane. So for the past two weeks, I have been reinstalling shit that I used to have. And due to superior timing, I also have to have the software for the bar installed this week. Computers. Bleh. If I wasn't so addicted to the internet I would have thrown the damn thing off the roof.

I knew I hated Contracts...

2006-06-07T17:05:00.000-07:00

The last two days were killer-contracts bar classes for the full 3.5 hours is enough to do anyone in. This professor, while I'm sure is perfectly nice, was also perfectly boring. She spoke in total monotone never even giving inflection to words like hell and pissed which deserve at least slight inflection.
It's a good thing I wasn't drinking before noon this week or I would have been passed out under a table thanks to the drone...

Sigh, I just wanted a shiny frame for my diploma...

2006-05-31T17:49:00.000-07:00

It came today--Damaged.
So just send it back, right? Simple thing to do, right?

Nope.
First called the alumni center from whom I ordered the frame. No problem, send it back to us via UPS, we'll pay the shipping on our end. We get bad one-we send you new one. She gave me the shipping address, but no account number, I thought she knows what she's doing, I don't need one, right? WRONG.

UPS Store: need account number, I've never heard of that place (uh, like you get diplomas from, like colleges or something, whatever, is it time for my break yet?) No help there.

Finally track down the number of the alumni center and guess what-they don't even know the account number. Call to the warehouse to get, call back-ACCOUNT NUMBER!!! Everything will be ok now, right?

HA! Decide not to go back to bitchy UPS chick and go to package store that does it all. This is probably going to turn out to be a better decision (I hope). The package was delivered to our house my FedEX, not UPS. We're not sure who the account number is for.

The Package Store: manager not there, new kid working, should have walked out the door when he couldn't work the old guy's credit card. STATUS of return of damaged frame: UNKNOWN.
Store was out of the package slips and he didn't have it ready when the pick-up came. Did he call and share this? Nope. So, hopefully tomorrow he will have my damaged frame on its merry way and I will have a new one soon. If not, damaged frame will be picked up and taken to different package store.

I just wanted my undergrad diploma framed, that's all!!!

UPDATE: It was easier just to drive to Boone and switch it out. And I got a new hoody out of the deal!

Know What I Hate?

2006-05-29T10:56:00.000-07:00

People who only send you inane fowards.** I'm not a big fan of fowards in general, although there are exceptions. The state trying to sue the beavers for building a dam was good, but for the most part these are repeats of the same sappy, sad, etc. stories that have been passed around a zillion times, just change the names.

Needless to say, I'm not thrilled with people who never send me personal emails, but send me forwards all the time. They will not be getting my new email address.

**I also hate people who use mailing lists to do the same thing. I signed up for a mailing list for a specific purpose, class events, etc. NOT forwards!!!!!!

Seriously?

2006-05-28T19:22:00.000-07:00

After the spider adventure this morning, I left for the beach (which is why I was up so damn early to start with!!). I got there around 11:30 am and decided to get some lunch before frying myself on the beach. There is a drink menu and my beach going friend was thinking mojito which just got me thinking "Alcohol!" So we try to order drinks. That's right--try! It turns out that you can't order alcohol on a Sunday before noon. WTF? Not pleased at all. Still we waited until 12:01 and got our drinks with our food. Why does the damn state feel the need to prevent me from drinking before noon? Stupid laws based on religious rules. I boo them. They should let me drink whenever I want, including after 2am in a bar. I mean that is pretty arbitrary anyway. I say you should be allowed to order a drink at whatever time you please! I mean, I have a right to a pursuit of happiness and clearly these stupid laws are getting in the way!

Ewwww!

2006-05-28T04:33:00.000-07:00

I am so not a morning person yet this morning I was up bright and early. So what is the worse way to start the day? I walk into my bathroom to brush my teeth and find something that stops me in my tracks. Not the mess that is my bathroom but a large 8 legged disgusting spider (which, by the way I am scared of and loath). So being the brave girl that I am, I smush it then proceed to do my little ew dance, which basically consists of me jumping up and down going "EWWWW!!!". Seriously, after this I require a drink. Is 730 am too early to start drinking?

I find the spider rules to be very simple. If they come into my apartment, they are trespassing and I may kill them. I know that the BarBri guy told me on Friday that I may not defend my property by deadly force unless deadly force is used on me. Based on this my spider killing is perfectly allowable, since after all the spider is likely poisonous on some level and it could kill me (theoretically anyway).

In return, I won't kill the spiders who stay outside unless they try to bite me then it is purely self-defense. Again, they could kill me with their poison. This is the kind of things I think of when I wake up before noon find a spider in my place and am not drinking.

Things that make me sad: Part 1

2006-05-24T15:24:00.000-07:00

Due to the great timing of BarBri classes I can no longer attend my regular yoga class 3 times a week. This is sad. It is made even more sad by the fact that for 5 days a week for the next 2 months I am going to have to sit in these awful chairs at school with minimum breaks and maximum boredom. Somehow the yoga DVDs just don't quite hack it. It figures that reviewing for the bar would convienently take away my favorite form of stress relief.

BarBri Day One: The Introduction and Family Law

2006-05-24T14:38:00.000-07:00

If the introduction video sets the bar for the quality of the rest of the videos, I'm glad we have a decent number of live lectures.

It was cheesy.
Low resolution (but this could be the screen and video equipment)
Did I mention it was cheesy? Bad jokes on the first day? No fair.

Family Law, the class that actually needs the whole 3.5 hours allocated paired with the intro means the first day ran over four hours and lasted just long enough to cancel a trip to the gym. (The university has really weird hours for the gym over the summer including being closed from 1:30-4:30).

The annoying part about Family Law: our prof telling us something probably wouldn't be on the bar, hasn't been tested on for 100 years, telling us to read it ourselves later, and then proceeding to read it outloud anyway. This occurred after the original 3.5 hours of the class passed. I hope tomorrow is better, but my hopes are not high as it is Secured Transactions...

Prepare to Bitch, I mean take the Bar...

2006-05-23T15:53:00.000-07:00

Today was registration for BarBri, THE bar preparation class. Tomorrow we kick off the six week course, complete with one 8:30 to 3:30 Saturday class. This means two things:

Drinking before noon? Try drinking before 9am, the start time of this wonderful summer course... (this will be induced by many factors, including, but not limited to: overly stressed classmates, complete boredom in many topics (civ pro, con law, sales, etc.), being in class again after weeks off of doing not much of anything...
Bitchiness levels will increase all over the country, unless drinking before noon becomes a popular bar prep tool-my advice: buy stock in liquor/wine/beer companies.

I hope we survive this summer and pass the bar. If not an island bartending job may be in the cards...

Friends with Money

2006-05-21T20:28:00.000-07:00

No, not the movie with Jennifer Aniston (which sucks by the way), I mean actual friends who have lots of money or make lots of money. Most of mine fall into the first category at this point because let's face it, not too many law students are raking in the dough during the semester. I have concluded that friends with money fall into 2 categories:

those people whose parents have it and freely give it to their kids (aka category 1 friends)
those people whose parents have money and want their kids to work for it (category 2 friends)

Now, both categories of friends with money have plenty of it to cover their everyday needs (which are of course far greater than mine). The distinction lays in how they are about their money. Category 1 friends tend to hord it. Yeah, something about them says they are entitled to it and fuck anyone who would expect them to share. Example: You are the DD (designated driver for all those not keyed into alcoholic language--but use caution since sometimes this term is also used for designated drinker) for 5 nights in a row. Your car, your gas. You don't ask anyone to throw into the gas fund and you buy the only beer you drink all night. The next day you and category 1 friend (who took full advantage of your DD services and lives on the other side of town) go to the mall. You ask her to pick you up on the way (your house is on the way, unlike hers the night before). She responds by asking if you will drive from your place because her gas (for her superior car) costs an extra 20 cents a gallon. Your response: Fuck you. See category 1 friend doesn't want her parents to cut her off so she is very cautious with her money that she is handed. But this will not stop her from dropping $75 on a LaCoste polo. She acts like she earned it when in reality everyone knows her parents will give her whatever amount she needs. Blah. One shot needed over here now. Yes, I know it is 10 am. The mall just opened.

Category 2 friends have a tendency to not flaunt their money and it you weren't told they had it you might not know until they went shopping with you. They can spent it. They can also earn it because their parents made them have jobs in the summer and pay for some of their own shit. Example: You are driving to the bar (you are such a good person to DD all the time) but you have a little 2 door car so fitting the 4 friends going with you to the bar is a bit of a challenge. Category 2 friend says here's the keys to my SUV. We will fit better. You drive. They drink. All is well.

Another comparison: You walk up to category 2 friend in a bar and say, "I have no cash can you spot me?" she will respond by saying, "Sure. What ya drinking?" Then forget about it the next day. Category 1 friend would also buy the drink but the next time you go out, she will not only expect you to buy her a round but also to buy her a drink that cost 2x as much as your beer the night before. Interest is a bit steep in this friendship.

The same mentality of category 1 friends seems to apply to those friends who have already lined up their 6 figure salaries for next year. After all your public interest, low salary job couldn't mean you are on their level and they certainly won't buy you a drink to celebrate the offer. One glass of wine down. I think I might need another if I am going to make it to bed before 4am.

Graduation Reflections (a.k.a what annoyed me)

2006-05-19T06:48:00.000-07:00

Ms. Margarita has been doing more posting than me and she let me know my blogging presense was required asap.

Overall, graduation went quite well. There were some things to drive you crazy (or to drink, depending on your mood).

The Hooding Reception: food was great if you attempted to eat, however 5 tables for 172 jd/llm's and their families does not work out to a pleasant event, especially when you have elderly relatives with you.
Speaking of elderly relatives, my husband's grandmother flew down for the ceremony and stayed with us for several days. We were more than ready for her departure as her moods swung from grumpy to whiny. A trip to a local vineyard took care of that one day and we kept her happy with wine and ice cream when we could (this lead to a lot of drinking after noon).
It was cold and wet for the graduation ceremony, not as cold as it has been (34 one year-in May!). This could have lead to drinking before noon if anyone had thought at dawn to smuggle rum in their robes.
That's all I can think of right now. Can I go back to bed?
Don't worry, with the bar class starting next week, I'm sure we'll both have a lot to talk about...

Graduation

2006-05-18T21:15:00.000-07:00

After the whole hooding ceremony, I walk back to see my family. My mom and sisters had one observation for me: there were not a lot of good looking guys in law school. Thanks! I have been telling you that for years. I think they have finally stopped wondering why even though I was surrounded by intelligent (supposedly since they were going to a good law school) I still chose to stay single. One hour of watching the guys in my class walk across stage did it. That was it! If only I would have know it was going to be that easy I would have busted out the facebook after 1L year.

Things that drive me to drink...

2006-05-15T16:51:00.000-07:00

There is no doubt that getting more than one generation of any family together will lead anyone to drink before noon. Probably not the first day, but definitely by the 3rd day. You wake up thinking "what I really need before this graduation ceremony is a coffee...an Irish coffee." But today, I made it through my graduation ceremony without killing any members of my family or drinking anything before noon. Now that my family has headed home, I am dying to crack open a bottle of wine and just chill on my couch in front of the TV. If only my roomie's family had got the get the fuck out of my apartment memo I left them yesterday.

Thinking for yourself

2006-05-08T20:09:00.000-07:00

Hypocrisy: n 1: an expression of agreement that is not supported by real conviction 2: insincerity by virtue of pretending to have qualities or beliefs that you do not really have

Example: Clinton, from TLC's What Not to Wear, doing a commercial stating that we all are born with the ability to think for ourselves but over time we succumb to pressure and stop doing so. This man is famous (and I use that term loosely) for telling people that what they think they look good in just isn't good enough. Yeah, because Clinton buddy you are really helping people out there think for themselves...

Jobs

2006-05-01T20:06:00.000-07:00

So I am watching this news story on immigration protests and I have to say, "wah, wah, wah."

They are saying that the American population seems to vote most for deporting them. Well, I have to say there is a place for that. Yes, I said it. Send them home. Why? Because they are breaking the law, and yes, that makes a person a criminal. No one can just sneak across the border and stay. They are not allowed to be here! They are not a guest workers, they are illigal aliens, therefore criminals. If you don't like the label, leave.

Sure call me a bitch, say I am an arrogant American. Whatever. My reason for this stance is simple: incentives. Getting American citizenship is not easy, I recognize that. So why do it if you can sneak across the border and work, worry free? No one would even try. The message sent is sneak in and we will pretend you didn't. As for the people trying to be legit about it, I welcome you. I give you props for making your life better and for doing it the right way. If I could do anything to help you I would. I am sorry that I just don't feel the same way if you are here illegally to start with. I won't give you a job that some American thinks is below them, I would make them take it and get the fuck of welfare. But that is a whole other can of worms, and this glass of wine isn't going to last long enough for me to get all the way through it.

Not wedding related...

2006-04-27T12:02:00.000-07:00

This has nothing to do with weddings. But everything do to with professors. First, why can't they just make a syllabus so when I am studying I know what we were supposed to cover?? and Second, why can't they put some past exams on reserve so that I can atleast get an idea of what I am in for on Saturday? And why why why does this stupid school think it is a good idea to have exams on a Saturday afternoon?????

How this all got started:

2006-04-27T10:40:00.000-07:00

Honestly, with an engagement that has evolved into what could be the dumbest wedding ever. Yesterday at lunch, the two of us were discussing how much it all sucked and slightly wondering if it were just us. We wanted a blog that our friends didn't know about to vent about the craziness and stress they subject us to. Here we are, to discuss all the things that drive us to start "drinking before noon".

As a preview into what we suffer with:
~Conversation about the dumbest wedding ever with the bride:
Bride: "We're going to do a donation to somewhere instead of doing favors for our guests. You know, something that will say, in lieu of favors, we have given $50 to some charity."
Friend: "Are you actually going to make the donation?"
Bride: "Probably."

You be the judge, is it just us?

Seriously...

2006-04-26T16:47:00.000-07:00

We just needed a place to vent and bitch about all the craziness in our lives, you know all the stuff that drives us to "Drinking Before Noon".

Welcome to our lives, don't tell our friends.